BEAU-DUDLEY'S
FINAL JOURNEY

12 DECEMBER 2007

SandE writes: Today is the day

My sweet boy is ready. He was lying on my bed this morning and I crawled up next to him. He put his foot/leg around me and hugged me and licked my face. I think he's telling me that it's OK. So I have taken the day off from work and will do what needs to be done. We have an appointment at 1:00 p.m. today. Thank you all for your prayers and powerful Zen. It's given us two wonderful months together.

ELLANA LIVERMORE:

Sending zen to you to keep you strong for Beau's sake. Zen to Beau that he slip away from this world easily.

A MESSAGE TO ONE WHO MOURNS

"Can't you do something to make this pain go away?"

No, my child, but understand that the greater is your pain, the greater was your love. Only passionate hearts can produce passionate grief. Such hearts use the gift of time not only to refill what has been emptied, but to reshape sorrow into something that honors the one who was loved and is now gone .

"How can I go on with this agony inside of me?"

No answer will satisfy you now, my child. I could say that if you were lost at sea, battered by the wind, cold, frightened, but unwilling to force yourself to slip beneath the waves, you would eventually swim to shore, back to where you belong, to the land of the one who was loved and is now gone.

"What will happen to the emptiness that is now my life?"

May it rest in a special place within you, a place of respect and remembrance, but far enough from your destiny that it cannot poison. May it always speak of the miracle that was the life of the one who was loved and is now gone.

When I look into his eyes, they look so sad. BD does get up and stand until he can no longer stand, then lies down right where he was standing. I just was lying with him and he seems to take a lot of comfort with my being beside him. He went right to sleep and is gently snoring at the moment.

I do think that he has more than discomfort. He is so stoic. It's so very hard to tell. I know the end is near and I don't want him to suffer. I've been very very fortunate to have him for two whole months and he was good, acting just like his normal self. Many people don't have that luxury.

We went for a nice walk on Saturday (his favorite thing to do) and later that day, he started deteriorating and it's been a steady downhill since then. I think he has bleeders and they are causing a lack of oxygen to the body and brain. Thank you for soothing me and letting me know that my decision is right. I would never keep him alive for me because this is killing me, watching him die a slow death. There is no quality to his life now other than to be here and be loved. I think his licking my face and giving me a hug was his way of saying it's OK to let me go.

My boy is gone. His appointment got bumped up because the vet I wanted wasn't going to be there at 1:00. My sweet boy is now at peace. He had a wonderful morning. He had such a good morning that I almost cancelled the appointment, but I thought I would let the vet look at him and give me his opinion. My vet said his belly was terribly distended and the tumor, which was the size of a soccer ball two months ago, could rupture anytime. Plus BD was having difficulty breathing and wasn't getting all the oxygen he needed. So my sweet Beau-Dudley had a wonderful morning and now he's at peace.

JACKIE McGUINNESS:

The weatherman said there is to be a spectacular sight of 100's of shooting stars at midnight tonight; I think it is going to be a huge party for Beau-Dudley when he joins up with the a'dales that are waiting for him to guide him over to a safe place to wait for you.

MARE MOORE:

A new star shines tonight and it is Beau-Dudley

Please know that all our hearts mourn with you. And feel at ease in knowing that you did the right thing too. Beau-Dudley no longer struggles to breathe, the threat of tumour rupture is past and he is at peace, pain-free and soaring high with the white swallow on his way to the High Country to romp with joy with all those who've gone on before him.

He waits for you there SandE, and you will meet again, I am certain of it.

May you find some measure of peace in your loving memories of you sweet boy.

IF I SHOULD GROW FRAIL

If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain does keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done
For this - the last battle - can't be won.
You will be sad I understand
But don't let grief then stay your hand.
For on this day, more than the rest
Your love and friendship must stand the test.
We have had so many happy years,
You wouldn't want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please, let me go.
Take me to where my needs they'll tend,
Only, stay with me till the end.
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I have been saved.
Don't grieve that it must now be you
Who has to decide this thing to do.
We've been so close - we two - these years,
Don't let your heart hold any tears.

-- Julia Napier, c1999

The pictures do tell the story of how my sweet boy was ready to cross The Bridge. I look at those pictures most every day and I see the saddness in my sweet boy's face. He was ready even though he put up a fight right to the bitter end. I miss him so. I don't think there will ever be another dog who will have a place in my heart like my sweet Beau-Dudley. He was the BEST dog ever, so sweet, gentle, loving & well#45;behaved. His life was ended way too soon, but I know in my heart, it was his time. I've downloaded the picture of him and his best friend, Becky, to my desktop and I touch his sweet face and say good night to him every night.

CAROL WALKER & TREVOR:

It never gets any easier, does it? But what a wonderful and blessed life he had with SandE. You can see him blossom under her love & care. We can't say enough how sorry we are.

HOWLIDAY CARDS 2007 - Page 28

On 8 July 2008, SandE writes:

Look at this beautiful picture I just found of my
precious Beau-Dudley & his best friend, Becky.
It's bittersweet. I still miss him so.

Beau & Becky
15 November 2005

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