NOW PLAYING: A PIRATE LOOKS AT 40
Jimmy Buffet, 1974

Mother, mother ocean, I have heard you call
Wanted to sail upon your waters since I was three feet tall
You've seen it all, you've seen it all

Watched the men who rode you switch from sails to steam
And in your belly you hold the treasures few have ever seen
Most of 'em dream, most of 'em dream

Yes I am a pirate, two hundred years too late
The cannons don't thunder, there's nothin' to plunder
I'm an over-forty victim of fate
Arriving too late, arriving too late

I've done a bit of smugglin', I've run my share of grass
I made enough money to buy Miami, but I pissed it away so fast
Never meant to last, never meant to last

And I have been drunk now for over two weeks
I passed out and I rallied and I sprung a few leaks
But I got stop wishin', got to go fishin'
Down to rock bottom again
Just a few friends, just a few friends

Mother, mother ocean, after all the years I've found
My occupational hazard being my occupation's just not around
I feel like I've drowned, gonna head uptown

A PIRATE LOOKS AT 40 . . . INTERVAL

The rest of the days passed all too quickly and we were soon passing back through the Straits of Gibraltar. While wandering 'round the ship, we noticed a large round object we were sure hadn't been there before; we asked a crew member standing close to it. He explained that it was only seven nautical miles (1.28 land mile) from North Africa to Gibraltar and shipping rules meant we had to be on the south side and there was always a risk of pirates on the coast. "PIRATES!?" I nearly choked on my g&t. ''I THOUGHT THEY WENT OUT WITH SAILING SHIPS!'' Apparently not, and this machine sends out signals in 48 different languages if any boat came within a mile of us to tell them to go away or the captain would take defensive action. Hmm . . . what is the definition of "defensive" on a cruise ship? No guns were to be seen . . we could hardly repel boarders with walking sticks and zimmer frames. The answer is water cannon. I don't know where it was hidden, but that's what would be used. Then we noticed that there were several crew members stationed along that side of the ship . . . on the face of it, chatting to passengers, but keeping an eye on the horizon as well. We turned in to the Bay of Biscay and my plan was to take a dip in the pool so I could say I was swimming in the middle of the Bay of Biscay, but oops it's time for tea.

. . . AND SAYS, "IT'S A DIAMOND STUD FOR ME!" DIGRESSION

On 16 July, Jackie writes: Tom got carried away with the pirate idea and came home the other day sporting a diamond stud in a newly-pierced ear. Do I like it? Hmm . . . it's growing on me The initial response was, "Not what you expect a Sgt Major to be wearing." Jackie & Tom went owling on 28 July, and she was able to take this lovely picture of Tom in his Terry Pratchett hat, the Harry Potter owl and the diamond stud. This particular rehabilitation centre did provide the owls for one of the Harry Potter movies.

MORE FUN & GAMES
WITH JACKIE & TOM HERE